Thursday, June 30, 2011

Things that make me scream

I can't unsee the pattern.

Bras for the Cause

Bras ARE the Cause.

My best friend had breast cancer. They put a zillion tubes in her boob and pumped her full of radiation. She did that for weeks. She survived and is still cancer free.
Nobody ever told her a bra might restrict lymphatic system circulation.


I hate you guys.

Things that make me laugh

We Need More Doctors, Stat!
One family physician told the New York Times, "Everybody with a brain knows we do not have enough doctors."

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Zombie of the Day

I was pretty sure he was going to be the lead-off hitter... he posted a few weeks ago that he's allergic to wheat.

Andrew Sullivan

It's been fascinating to watch how my new diet has affected me. Adjusting to fewer carbs has meant a long phase of relative tiredness now beginning to lift. But my muscle-fat ratio has shifted in the right direction a little. The rash is now gone.

I have been writing to him for years, telling him he's a narcoleptic.

Welcome, Andrew. It gets even better.

For the record

This is how I will know they are serious-

When the AMA lobbies for and delivers over-the-counter distribution of valacyclovir.

And not before.

Doctor My Eyes

I went to the ear-nose-throat doctor today to get nasal care tips. I told him about my theory that common facial diseases cause mental illness. He seemed to think this might be a lucrative new market for him.

Guess again, buddy.
Me and the crazy ladies are going to take care of those of us who managed to stay out of your institutions. You, however, really should go in them and rescue those poor souls with massive neglected infections.

By the way- if you want to help us- you're going to have to get a lot better at diagnosing nasal ulcers. Pretty sure we all have them. Hint: you don't need a CT scan...

What is really up with that anyway? Do you get a bonus for ordering tests? Or is it just more fun than looking in noses? I am really curious about that.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Happy Solstice Everyone

It's actually sunny here and the dog and I are going to sit outside all day.

Here's my old song for the day- I can see clearly now

Sorry if you hate it, I have sentimental obligations.

Feel free to add your own selection...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Guerrilla Neuroscience

My Dreams:

I really like the idea of a gluten-free trailer park out in the middle of the desert somewhere.With a train car diner and a school bus filled with books and lots of kitsch. Garden statuary, picket fences and at least three dogs.
Drive-in zombie rehab.

I also have this other favorite rumination about a storefront in New Orleans called "The Sanity Shoppe". With a dental clinic on one side called "The Grateful Head", and a gluten-free cafe/pizzaria on the other side named "Pan de los Muertos". We would sell mouth rinse and coconut oil and ketostix and strep tests and dispense accurate information to ordinary people. We would have bake sales and dental fairs and give out gluten-free food and tooth care kits to homeless people.

But mostly I dream of an alternate universe. Where none of that is even necessary anymore.

Sit down. Buckle Up. Hold On. Here we go...