Tuesday, September 18, 2012

How to Cheat on your Sleep Test

Passive-Aggressive Public Service Announcement #2

Now I don't know why anyone would want to be diagnosed with Narcolepsy- but if you do, here's some tips to make you as sleepy as possible.
  • Wear really comfy clothes that are discreet. Sweats, t-shirts, shorts.
  • Make sure you are warm. Cold skin makes you less prone to sleep.
  • Eat Sugar- Orexin cells are glucose sensitive. The more sugar you eat, the less orexin you will produce.
  • Eat Gluten- Make some multi grain muffins with wheat, corn, soy and nut flours. These foods contain known allergens which affect the alimentary tract. Since orexin cells line the intestine, this suppresses their function. Wheat Gluten is especially associated with Narcolepsy.
  • Don't smoke or drink coffee- caffeine and nicotine activate the frontal cortex and actually do increase alertness.
  • Stay inside and wear Sunglasses- Orexin cells are also triggered by light on the retinas. Just looking out the window will stimulate your nervous system.
  • Sleep in the chair if they let you. It's much easier to find a comfortable position for the tubes and wires, and we tend to breathe better sitting up.
  • Don't forget your pillow.
Like I said, I don't know why anyone would want a Narcolepsy diagnosis. Luckily, you can also use this information to alleviate your symptoms. I have been in remission for five years. Read my research.

cross-posted at NN.  heh.  wonder how long it will last.